i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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