my mouth tastes like poor choices
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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