If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
