remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
