Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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