She is in my trunk
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize