thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
