Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
