I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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