if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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