did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
