Where is the hickey?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
