when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
