Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
