Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
