After last night, I could never be a politician.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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