He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
