oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
