mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize