peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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