i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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