Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
