So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
two words...techno handjob
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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