My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
