The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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