Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
