Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
