Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
