I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
