all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
