I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
