party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
