I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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