He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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