marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Even the bartender felt bad for me
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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