and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Randomize
