But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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