You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
