just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
