I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize