I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
