i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
