my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
