Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
