you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
