a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
