he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
