Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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