remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
