"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize