Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So apparently I’m into choking now
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