my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
