All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
