xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
