So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
