so explain again why im purple
no
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
