Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
