And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize