shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
