I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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