Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I AM VODKA MAN
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
