Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize