After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My pussy is not your playground.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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