I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
