I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
