I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
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