Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
