ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
