other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
