White coat. Heels.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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