so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
